ok. what the fuck.
]]>p.s. tvp=totally vegan potluck and/or textured vegetable protein
]]>The only things I find myself thinking I would enjoy are simple grains and dark red fruits, like pomegranates, cherries, raspberries, cranberries, etc. I almost want to fast, just because I can't take this anymore, but I think it might also be brought on by the fact that my appetitte dropped off when I became ill.
]]>Too fucking ridiculous. This was written in 1966. Honestly.
]]>A meeting for all groups and individuals interested in the preservation of Newcomb College to inform, create plans of action and collaborate as a unified body.
Yours in solidarity,
Jennifer Leslie.
i am just downright angry with the world. how fucking typical. i am just so tired of the bullshit of this world and just want to get down to business, pure and simple. and yet this business that i am so desperately trying to achieve is depressing in and of itself--being a feminist should carry the subtitle of, 'i love to hate my life,' and this is now being reinforced by a text i was beginning to read for my feminist ideas and praxis class, called "It's just about being fair: Activism and the politics of volunteering in the breast cancer movement" by Amy Blackstone (U of Maine).
Some days I wish I could've been born in the 40's, so that I could've been an active player in the 60's. Perhaps then I would've been able to produce a substantial and much more lasting effect on the world in a climate that was ready to embrace radical change, instead of constantly beating my head against a wall with a lot of fucking Suzy Q. wishy-washies.
Where is it going to end? When does the revolution come? And I'm not asking for guns and bombs and death and violence, I'm just asking for some god damned opened minds!! I am getting more and more mad and frustrated as I continue to write this. When will people create an environment that will create people that will change the world?
Here are your guidelines, if you choose to accept this mission:
-Accept your responsibility to humanity. You were raised by this society and therefore it is your obligation to give back and improve it. Don't be an existentialist douche bag.
-Accept your role as an activist and a feminist and all the other good '-ist's out there.
-Accept your individual self in the greater scheme of things and support group movement--things will not get better for the individual unless the group succeeds at establishing laws, more groups, social ideologies and so forth.
-Recognize that if you are reading this right now, you exist within the top 5% (if not top 1%) of the world's richest people--you are so financially secure in ways that you do not even comprehend, that you have absolutely nothing to lose, but the group, the world, has everything to gain.
-The larger scale beliefs that you hold are applicable to your life as well. You cannot be a political feminist if you are not a personal feminist.
In the words of two great men (because all the great women have been silenced):
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Gandhi
-You are not allowed to be an exception to personal-->global responsibility and hypocrisy is not an excuse, it is a fault.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” - FDR
-You have nothing to lose, but we have everything to gain.
I have these conflicting ideas of what I'm going to do with my life in regards to my career, but in some ways, it is more important to me as to where I'm living. I've come to the point where I almost truly scorn the North and everything it stands for--the kidding and joking is wearing thin. Yet, if I'm intending to do this whole 'vegan chef' thing, I'll end up going to the Natural Gourmet in NYC, because that's essentially the only place that has a solid vegetarian repetoire; after working at Lebanon's Cafe, I truly know I cannot cut-up any animal, no matter how disemboweled it already is. Or, if I go to grad school or law school, the only place I could do it would be Tulane (blech.) or Loyola. Loyola seems like a pretty good choice, especially because of the Jesuit identity (oh little Jewish girl in the South, how cracked out are you?), which in my eyes is one of those aspects of Christianity that I do admire very much. But... even so, Loyola isn't the most fabulous choice I could make.
My problem is very basic--I don't want to leave the South. And by that I mean, I don't want to leave New Orleans possibly ever, but if not that, possibly for a very very long time. My immediate response to, 'Do You Know What it Means' tonight was to think, "Wouldn't it be lovely to get married to this song?" And then my second thought was, "Oh, I could only marry someone who was really as in love with New Orleans as I am--I would never want to leave this city for anything." and we slowly digress into me wanting to be a baby-machine to some old Cajun family. But that's another story.
So. What the fuck am I going to do? Am I going to feel like I never got on with my life, which is a terrible consequence of New Orleans folk staying in New Orleans? I can only think of Mike, my waiter co-obsession love object, who was filling out his papers to go to grad school at numerous different places, all of which exist Somewhere Else. And it was just awful, that feeling. The idea that this person is leaving this city, my life, and going to Somewhere Else that just isn't New Orleans. Will I ever get to a place where I will feel like it's time to move on? Where the bad outweighs the good? When will I get bored of strolling downtown, the oddities, going to bars to talk with friends, chatting up strangers in weird situations, buying groceries for canvas bags and the awful ride back home?
]]>Anyways. I was trying to solve a "problem" of liking Northern State so much, even though I know most people think I'm ridiculous for liking them. I used Amazon to find something, but instead of being directed towards more female hiphop/rap artists, I was pushed towards more indie rock-esque stuff, which makes me wonder if it is because they're white and not black musicians. The other women hiphop artists I can think of (that I listen/listened to) are Missy Elliot, Princess Superstar, kinda Peaches, Lauryn Hill... is there anything else? If so, I can't think of it at 2:19 a.m.
To bring it back, I am watching a vh1 show called 'Hip Hop Honors' and they just did a medley with Salt N Pepa, En Vogue and a bunch of other important women in rap. Now that was really cool, but then they did it with the song that goes 'What a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man' which I know is very famous, but isn't that sick? The background was a slideshow of a bunch of men (maybe famous?) but come on! How can these women who are incredibly important to opening the door to women in hiphop have to get on television and have to slut themselves to men in the end?
This is frustrating. These are all black women who have opened the way for women of all races to take up the mic and they're still being subverted, even as they're being praised for their success. As hiphop has been very... unfriendly to women, to say the least, can't there be some oasis of idealism? Even if it's just a moment.
On a happier note, now I know where to go looking for music.
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