btw, you don't need to add rupture users to your personal whitelist.
they're included as such:

root@froody:/home/jay/.tmda/filters# more incoming  
[..]

from-file /root/local.emails.txt accept

# drop messages forged from local addresses 
# as local.emails.txt above catches all valid ones
from *@=rupture.net drop


tmda will send you a summary every day of the headers of all new
messages that are being held in the pending queue.  you then can see
if legitimate senders got stuck in the queue.  ie:

1056721632.71208.msg (56 of 347 / 1569 bytes)
  >> Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 15:15:33 +0300
  >> From: give_up@keromail.com
  >>   To: "Laraine Lane" 
  >> Subj: help growth hormone reverses the effects of aging



I can then do:

jon@froody:~> tmda-pending 1056721632.71208.msg 

1056721632.71208.msg (1 of 1 / 1569 bytes)
  >> Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 15:15:33 +0300
  >> From: give_up@keromail.com
  >>   To: "Laraine Lane" 
  >> Subj: help growth hormone reverses the effects of aging

([p]ass / [s]how / [r]el / [d]el / [w]hite / [b]lack / [q]uit) [pass]: 

If give_up@keromail.com was a real friend, and not a spammer, I could
then chose to hit 'w' and whitelist his email address, and then 'r' to
release the message to my inbox.  You might run into this with your
friends until they are all on your whitelist.  Or, you can just click
on the mailto link in the summary email to manually confirm the
message for them (this assumes your mail client can do the mailto
links).

Let me know if you have any questions/problems etc.  It looks like
TMDA stopped 10 spams for you already!